Part 93: Mozart's #1 Dance Tune
whyamidoingthisidon'tknowthegamenearlywellenoughforanlporchallengerunthisisaterribleidea... Anyway, time for a Final Fantasy 5 Advance Challenge Run LP! This is my first LP, so I may go a little overboard on screenshots for a bit; try to bear with me for now.Mozart's #1 Dance Tune
Okay, so, welcome to this Themed Job Challenge! What's that, you may ask? Basically, it's a more lenient version of the Single Job Challenge- I pick a general "theme" for my jobs, and I can use any job which fits that theme. That's pretty much the only rule- I'm allowing myself to shop, use a full party... basically anything that doesn't involve jobs which do not fit the theme (no, I'm not going omni), though I might make an exception for !Flee, for reasons which will become clear shortly.
Doesn't sound too hard, right? I mean, I could pick, like, "melee" or "mage" and not really lose much. Too bad for me that's not what I picked. I'll tell you later, though the title probably gave it away.
Okay, let's get started.
It's the same intro everyone's probably used to by now- a king and his dragon...
he has a daughter...
he flies away on his own...
there are pirates...
and an old man...
the princess is rebellious...
crystal goes kablooey...
and here's a random idiot and his ostrich.
OH GOD RANDOM METEOR FROM NOWHERE!!! Anyway, before I do anything important, like progress the story, I should get this idiot set up to start this challenge...
Yup. The theme I picked for this run is, of all things, "entertainer." Wish me luck, guys, I think I'll need it. (Incidentally, after some thought I have decided that Mimic does not fit the theme well enough to use, so I will be banning it.)
First thing we have to do is go to this friggin rock. And for the record, no, you are not allowed to dismount outside of certain scripted events yet.
Like so. And since Boko's avian ass is planted RIGHT IN THE WAY, we have to talk to him and mount again in order to leave the crash site until further notice.
Therefore, we go up, around, and to the right...
...and find these assholes trying to kidnap the princess from before. The one on the right hops over her, and...
...they both attack us for interrupting their nefarious deeds. They only have one HP each, though, so even our current complete lack of weapon is more than enough for them. (Ignore the Sing command for a while, it won't be relevant until we actually learn a song.)
Come to think of it, how the hell did these weaklings manage to knock her out, anyway? That only took two turns because I can't multitarget.
Anyway, we go over and help her up, since we're apparently nice like that...
Wait, why's it already referring to Lenna by name? She hasn't introduced herself to us yet.
Anyway, after actually introducing herself, she asks her rescuer for HIS name. Fade to naming screen!
What, why WOULDN'T I name him after a musician? He IS, after all, a bard (at least for now; he'll probably end up dancing at some point in the run).
So yeah, apparently Boko isn't an ostrich after all. I'll still call him that a few times as a joke, though, I expect.
Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better, Lenna. I'm still gonna mock you for losing to a couple 1 HP tutorial monsters.
Thank you, Captain Obvious!
Okay, how the hell did you come to THAT conclusion? It doesn't even make sense!
Anyway, Lenna's attempt to leave is interrupted by someone groaning and asking for help.
She temporarily joins Mozart's party, and I immediately take the opportunity to steal her knife for his use.
I'm going to get a lot more use out of these than most of you other challenge-runners will, I'm sure.
Mozart finds the old man from the intro lying extremely close to the meteor. Presumably he either got there later or is dead.
Okay, maybe he just has an absurdly hard head. Mozart doesn't know, and he's too busy trying to compose something to care.
Ah, yes, the stereotypical "guy who knew everything about what's going on but has conveniently forgotten because Plot" character. At least he'll be helpful later on.
This speaks for itself, I think.
Anyway, Galuf's kinda depressed about his amnesia, and I guess Lenna's sympathetic about it or something? Whatever.
Lenna mentioning her destination jogs Galuf's memory slightly, and he volunteers to go with her.
The whole situation sounds like too much for a humble performer such as Mozart, though, so he declines their invitation.
At least Galuf isn't one of those completely bland old men who're only there to ramble and Plot (not to be confused with plotting) at you.
And now Lenna and Galuf leave Mozart alone, forgetting to reclaim Lenna's knife from him, though she throws one last (presumably pleading) look over her shoulder as she goes.
Nothing else of interest here at the moment, so Mozart grabs his ostrich and leaves.
For lack of anywhere else to go, we head west. This chokepoint seems rather suspicious though...
As we pass through said chokepoint, Boko screeches to a halt and throws Mozart into the wall.
Mozart is understandably upset at this development.
Unfortunately for Mozart, Boko refuses to let him back on until he agrees to help those two total strangers from before. Maybe he needs a new chocobo.
Earthquake!
Damsel in distress! Galuf, too, but he's probably in significantly less distress.
Mozart may not be the adventuring type, but he's not heartless- he's not about to leave them to their earthquaky demise.
Two more goblins jump off the cliffs to try to attack Mozart, but they apparently break their necks in the fall.
A hole opens up immediately after that little mishap. Boko jumps over it.
Another hole immediately after the previous one. Boko jumps it too.
Two more goblins try to attack Mozart from behind. This goes about as well as the last two batches.
What's your excuse THIS time, Lenna?
Anyway, Mozart hauls Lenna...
...and Galuf onto Boko's back. Chocobos must be pretty strong to carry three riders at the same time.
Moving on, Boko jumps one more hole and lands in a scene change!
Later, in Mozart's makeshift camp... wait, how'd he get up there?
Anyway, Lenna groaning attracts Mozart's attention, prompting him to jump off a cliff like the goblins earlier as she pulls herself to her feet.
Unlike the goblins, Mozart sticks the landing. Not pictured: Him limping for a minute or so afterwards.
No surprise- I'm pretty sure the earthquake was less than an hour after the meteor, so... y'know, this gives grim implications about your competence, you two. (Yes, I know, natural disasters, etc.)
The only things of interest in most of this conversation are that Mozart mentions the name of the first town, and your current Plot destination is the Wind Shrine.
: ...since there's no venue worth the name in Tule.
: Isn't that a little harsh?: Nah, they aren't really into music or spoons. Heathens.: ...Spoons? 
Mozart changes the subject by trying to give additional justification for his sudden change of mind, though he doesn't really get it either.
: Not my type, really. She's a little too... how should I put this... straight-laced?
: Like I'll believe that!
: Then why do I see so many bruises shaped like goblin fists on you?: Shut up.
Y'know, I'm starting to feel sorry for Boko...
: By the way, Lenna, can you dance?: Huh? Um, yes, I'm familiar with-
: Eek! This outfit's embarrassing! 
: You should be able to earn a bit of travel funds as a dancer. Don't worry, I don't intend to force you into doing THOSE kinds of dances.: I'm not sure I want to know what you mean by that...: Huh. That's a pretty good idea, actually. Got any other outfits like that?
: Nobody wants to see old men dancing, so I'll be teaching you to play music.
: Nonsense! I'm sure I could make a lot of gil that way!: Maybe by scaring the customers so badly they drop their wallets...
Anyway, after all that's settled, we head on north to this cave.
Which is apparently a recent addition to the geography.
I'm sure Boko could use a rest anyway.
Anyway, here's the first dungeon-type location! Don't bother trying to exit to hunt goblins or whatever, Boko just shoves himself under you and refuses to let you off until you come back if you try.
We are promptly attacked by a few bats (by which I mean literally two steps later). These guys aren't really all that bad, so I'll go ahead and fight them.
A few groups of bats later, we are attacked by this combination. The crabs are too much trouble for this team setup, so we run. Good thing I don't plan to get the Brave Blade.
The cave's entryway has a healing spring on the top left. If one were so inclined it would be possible to do a bit of grinding here.
A little further in, we hide under a ledge to watch a pirate...
...pull a switch in order to open a hidden door.
Before following him, however, Mozart grabs a hat from the chest he saw coming in. Nothing special, but it's better than nothing. It goes on Mozart's head for now.
As we head toward the switch the pirate revealed, we're attacked by these guys. Stropers're actually a bit weaker than the bats if you factor in the fact that they don't have Vampire, but they're both pretty much non-issues.
Assailants vanquished, Mozart flips the switch so he can follow the pirate.
He sees a ship sailing by through a hole in the wall; he doesn't get how it can still sail, but he wants it.
And now the party finds itself infiltrating a pirate hideout. Mozart knows this from the flag hung on the wall right in his face.
Plus the presence of actual pirates.
From this he deduces that the pirates actually have a working ship.
Right, let's walk right up to a known band of possibly-notorious outlaws and nicely ask them to bring us somewhere with no strings attached- there's no way that could go wrong! (/sarcasm)
IRONY!
: You do realize what'll happen if they catch us, right? Plus, wouldn't we have to pull up the anchor or whatever they call it?
Okay, I have no idea what this switch does. Could anyone answer that for me?
Galuf attempts to commandeer the ship while Mozart looks for the anchor... but the wheel's stuck.
: Told ya so.
: Bah! I coulda had it if I just had another minute.
: He did it. I told him not to, but-
: Not buyin' it.
: Wait, what?: Good thing I'm not the sleazy kind of employer, or I'd be in trouble!
: Well, not like we've really got anything to lose at the moment by asking, right, Galuf?: Suppose not.
: Hardly surprising... Looks like the captain's laughing at us.: Hey, it was worth a shot.
: Not exactly surprising either. Worrisome, but...: Uh... any ideas?: Can you swim?: I dunno. Maybe?: I think we're about to find out.
: ...huh?: Hmm...? Ah! You-: QUIET!
: Well, I suppose it beats being thrown overboard...: Save that for later- for all we know they might just wait until we're too far out to swim to shore.
: Hey! Unhand me, ya little-: Quiet, Galuf! Don't struggle and you might not get thrown overboard!
: Stop talkin' and move!: Ow! I'm going, I'm going, no need for the knives!: Wait, please! Where-: I said stop talkin'!
: Hm? What's in the bag, punk?: That's my spoon collection. Please don't touch it.: You actually collect spoons...? : 
: Well, that could've gone better.: So what were you about to ask at the end there, Princess?: Just call me Lenna, please.: Doesn't answer my question, but okay.: Anyway, the captain had a pendant identical to mine. I was about to ask where he got it.: Same place as you, maybe?: I don't think so. I got mine from my father when I was a child.: Hmm... Long-lost sibling, maybe?: No, that can't be. I don't have a brother...
: Soooo boooored...: ...I'm hungry...: Why do you collect spoons, anyway?: It's a hobby. Everyone's gotta have one.: You're kinda vehement about it, though.: Isn't everyone?
: And why does that guy have the same weird hobby I do?
: I might find out where this came from if I talk to him...
The next day, Captain Faris changes his mind about helping us.
He even has the decency to untie us!
A neat little touch: Your party does a few stretches after getting untied to work out some of the kinks from being tied up overnight.
: Ugh, I never knew I could cramp THERE...: Hmph, about time. You lot need to learn to respect your elders.: Might help if you earned that respect, Gramps!
Faris's response amounts to "because I felt like it." He doesn't want to let on that he actually has a personal interest.
Lenna asks a rather sensible question for the local technology level.
: I didn't see anywhere you could put oars for rowing down there...: What, you got some sorta sea monster to pull it along or somethin'?
: Yes, actually. Meet Syldra.: 
: Well, I suppose everyone's got a family of one kind or another...: Wish I could remember mine. Damned amnesia...
Go away, you're annoying and I need to go buy potions.
Welcome to Tule, where the shops are bad and the pirates are drunk!
ALL the pirates. Anyway, on the subject of bad shops, there's technically a weapon shop, but it doesn't have anything we can use. I'll never understand why they don't at least sell extra copies of Lenna's knife...
It has an armor shop too, but the only thing of interest there is more Leather Caps, and we can get those from Goblins.
The magic store. I have no use for such things.
This is the Greenhorn's Club. I'm a little rusty, but I at least remember the basics.
I tell the receptionist I'm a noob anyway so I can loot the place. Total haul: Tent, Phoenix Down, Potion, Ether, Leather Shoes, 100 gil, and a Goblin fight. Mozart gets the shoes.
It took me a little to find the item store. I shortly managed to remember that he's in the Inn, though.
I buy about 20 potions for now. I'm sure I'll need a LOT more than this.
This and another Potion are lying in that cluster of luggage.
While we're in the area, Lenna decides to check in on an old friend. He isn't home, though.
Mozart heads to the bar to let Faris know we're ready to leave. While asking the pirates where he is, though, he finds this passed-out drunk mumbling to himself.
: ...I'm not sure what to think...: Wait, is this pirate...?
To drive that image out of his mind, Mozart decides to assess the local dancers' skills.
And give Galuf his first piano lesson. It... doesn't go well.
At least he knows which key makes what sound now.
: Be right back, I'm just gonna get the captain so we can go.
: Damn...
: THIS one's got potential!
: And wipe that drool off your chin!: Err, the captain's asleep right now.: Ugh, not you too... Here, I'll go wake him up!
: Wait, what the-?!
: Huh. Y'know, now that I look...
: Try to be a bit less blatant, Galuf.: Oh, come off it, you KNOW you wanna-: Shut up, Galuf. There are innocent ears present.: 
: Err, we were gonna tell you that we're ready to go, but you were asleep, so, ah...: So you decided to drool over me like my halfwit crew?: I left as soon as I realized you were asleep, if that helps any...
Faris then proceeds to lock the door in everyone else's faces so he can go sit at the table and think in peace.
: ...That was awkward.
Mozart decides to wait for Faris at the entrance of the town. When he comes out, everybody heads out.
: Just out of curiosity, do you dance, Faris?: Huh? Well, sometimes when I'm on shore leave. Why?: Oh no. Here we go again...
: ......: Are you sure you should be putting Faris in women's clothes?: Eh, not like anyone'll notice the difference anyway.: (Better not mention how I'm not entirely convinced Faris is a man...): I hate you.Faris gets to keep his(?) weapon, unlike Lenna.
: I hate bees.They may sting for extra damage, but this particular breed still isn't any trouble.
Mozart heads back to the Pirate Cave to check on Boko. Apparently he's wandered off, though. Follow those footprints!
The cave itself is the same as before, though Faris proves himself capable of one-shotting the crabs I ran from before.
Back in their actual base, the first pirate Mozart asks tells him that they're taking care of Boko. He hopes that means medical rather than culinary.
This does not ease his anxiety.
Incidentally, that switch from earlier that I didn't know about? Turns out it's for this door. Inside are a Tent, Ether, and 300 gil.
Well, at least he's still alive.
Incidentally, the pirates' sleeping arrangements leave much to be desired. Do they take shifts or is sleeping while standing the norm?
Personally, I blame Mozart for forcing him to carry three people at once.
Okay, good, looks like the old man's a vet and not a chef. Worries appeased for now, Mozart heads back out.
Back outside, we sail east out of curiosity and find a desert north of a castle we can't access yet. In said desert, we find this guy.
Note that the "random encounter" Goblins are a completely different encounter from the "tutorial" Goblins. This version has 16 HP and a chance of Goblin Punching you. The blue mages among you surely realize that this is essentially a normal attack... unless you use it on someone your level, where it gets a ridiculous multiplier.
I try to convince them to drop their hats, but after hitting level 5 I stop. Not like they're particularly important anyway.
I do get a job level for everyone but Faris, though. Mozart and Galuf get Hide, which I'm sure you'll be seeing me use a lot due to preventing a character from being targeted at the cost of being unable to attack...
...while Lenna learns Flirt, which apparently causes the target to miss its next turn. Not sure how much use I'll get out of that one, since I've never seen the results of data mining the game, and thus don't know what it works on.
I check my money real quick, then head back to Tule to buy the Caps I couldn't get from Goblins...
...more Potions...
...and a Tent, just in case.
Next stop, the Wind Shrine!
: Why're you wearing that?!: Ummm...The text is blocking it, but there's a chancellor-looking guy saying this, and some of his lackeys running around frantically.
Back on topic... He tells us that the king went upstairs, but hasn't been seen since. The guy to the left thinks he's in trouble...
...so we decide to go up and help him. Funny how it's the pirate who suggests it though...
Anyway, bugging this guy gets you some potions. I'll need every one I can carry at some point, I'm sure.
A quick heal later, and I'm ready to start climbing!
Immediately on the next floor, I pick up this Tent...
...and get tutorialed at about Save Points, but we all know this stuff by now, I'm sure.
While trying to decide which staircase to climb, I meet these guys. Black Goblins are, as expected, basically "Goblin but more so," while the White Serpent can paralyze a character- deadly to a single character challenge, but pretty negligible for me.
On the third floor, I encounter these guys. From what I remember, they cast Aero sometimes. Not really expecting trouble from them with a full level 5 team, though.
And of course there's the Mani Wizard here. He sounds like he could be nasty to lowbies like Mozart and company, but instead of living up to his name he just smacks me with his Magic Stick (no really, it's actually called that!).
I find this and a Leather Cap in chests on the third floor, neither of which is useful to me (though I feel kinda silly for buying three Caps now).
This drop, on the other hand, is actually interesting. Faris gets these due to being my only other armed character.
Boss time. Hadn't realized the Wind Shrine was so short until realizing I'd gotten through it in about a dozen screenshots.
Meet Wing Raptor. He's a significant step up from the enemies I've been fighting up until now, but since he's designed for a party of Freelancers before they get jobs he shouldn't be too tough, even for my rather anaemic team.
Well... at least he survived a single round? This Sword Dance kills him. Lenna used a Mystery Waltz, so she contributed nothing. Faris learns Flirt (which he probably finds beneath his dignity or something) and I get to add another Phoenix Down to my bag for When I Need It (tm). Really, I can't see any full party actually struggling against this guy.
Then again, I'm probably underestimating Dancers. Bards, on the other hand, are currently useless.
Boss Deaths: 0
Total Boss Deaths: 0
Nothing of interest on the fourth floor (there's a Staff through an invisible path, but I don't need it), so we head up to where the Crystal used to be.
The crystals...
proceed to...
entrust us...
with their essence. I gotta say, if these travelling performers are all that's standing between the world and utter annihilation, I'd try to find a new world to live on.
Mozart and company are interrupted from trying to figure out what the hell just happened by FORCE GHOSTS!
Faris seems to recognize him. I'm sure this will not be in any way relevant to anything ever. (/sarcasm)
: Blah, blah, blah, Light Warriors, go save the world, blah, blah, blah...Yeah, Mozart's not really listening.
We can see that, thank you very much! He does go on to state that the others are in danger too, at least.
: Is it McDonald's?: *whack!*
Lenna picks up the fragments of the Wind Crystal so she can try to glue them back together later.
Anyway, we're done here, so Mozart climbs back down, pestering the guys in the side room on the way out and healing one last time before heading back to town.
...and I'll be leaving off here, since this first part's probably overly long by now. Not to mention how overkill I went on screenshots- I mean, 172 in one update?! I really need to cut down.
Next time: Torna Canal, and the early-game boss that seems to destroy solo challenges most often! (I meant to do that this time, but as I said, I went overkill.)